confessions of a control freak

It has been a while. I have had several moments where I have wanted to sit down and write, but I was distracted or procastrinated, and just didn't get it done. But, here I am. It is actually really quiet in my house at the moment, which makes it even more difficult to concentrate!
So, last night me and the hubbs were flipping through the channels, and there was a preacher on TV (not going to mention his name), and he was talking about they why's we have when living a life of faith. Why did this happen? or, Why did that not happen? His whole point, I think from the 2 minutes I watched, was that it is not for us to know why, just to let it go and move on.
What do you think?
I agree and disagree. I agree that our God does not want us to hold on to anger or bitterness or dispair. I don't think he wants us holding on to anything, except Him, and the hope that is in Him. As Beth Moore says, our hands have to be open to receive anything from Him. If we are holding on to something we can't receive.
BUT...
I also think he made us thinking, creative, reasoning creatures for a reason. If we question nothing, won't we miss out on understanding our God even better? Won't we miss out on understanding exactly who He is? I personally ask Him questions all the time or tell Him I don't understand why something is happening the way that it is. I also let him know that even in my questions, I trust in His perfect plan, even if I have to wait until Heaven to see how it all fits together. Sometimes in those converstations, he gives me an answer or clarity, but a lot of times he lets me sit on it. He leaves me to ponder and come back to the same conclusion. I have to trust Him. I have to trust in the unseen. I have to believe that what He said is what He meant, "for I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a futre." Jeremiah 29:11 I also have to change my view of what He means by being prosperous and without harm, and where my hope and future lies. This verse does not indicate that we will go through this life without difficulty, pain, or trials, rather it lets us know that even in those moments, that place where our future and hope lies will be wonderful.
So, even in those moments when I don't understand why sweet babies are born to suffer, why dads leave their children, why people who love the Lord suffer unimaginable pain, I have to lean on His shoulder and TRUST that it is all for His Glory so that every perfect part of his plan can be carried out. I have to have faith that it will all make sense one day. I cannot dwell on the why, but rather ask it and move on.
For someone like me, this is a pretty difficult concept. I like being in charge. I like having ALL the information available. I don't like being out of the loop! It takes a trust and faith, that quite often requries a lot of work for me to have. It requires a complete lack of control on my part. AHHHH! The only control I really have is how I respond to the situations before me. Sometimes, I don't even have control over those (Lord keep my mouth shut, please. Can you realte?) Thankfully, he is also a God of Grace and he continues to let me work on my issues :)!
Have a trust filled day!
jodie

PRAY FOR TRIPP ROTH AND HIS MOMMY, COURTNEY.
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